Sex is scary when you're a new parent. First there is the healing to consider (because you just had a human come out of your v...
Sex is scary when you're a new parent. First there is the healing to consider (because you just had a human come out of your vagina). And then there are sexy things like breast milk leakage and sleep deprivation to take into account. Thankfully there are parents who have gone before us and figured out the ropes of this new parent sex business, which can hopefully make it a little less awkward for the rest of us. Behold sex tips and tricks for the new parent set.
1. "Don't fear doing the deed with baby in the room. What they don't know can't hurt 'em!" —Allison, 30
2. "If you are having pain during sex, tell your doctor, because it's possible that you didn't heal properly. I tore pretty badly while I was giving birth and during the healing process, built up scar tissue where the tear was. It made sex absolutely miserable and I had to get the scar tissue cauterized to remedy the issue. That, along with a bit of lidocaine lube made all the difference during those initial sexual experiences." —Kate, 32
3. "It's important to take time (especially sexy time) for yourselves. Plan ahead and make things special. Get a damn babysitter!" —Claire, 34
4 . " Stock up on ALL THE LUBE." —Katie, 28
5. "Don't feel pressured by that six-week rule. If you don't feel ready to have sex at six weeks postpartum, just be honest about it. Your partner will most likely (at least try to) be understanding. You just pushed a human out of your vag for him. Tthat is some serious sacrifice. He can sacrifice too and do his part with a few more weeks of abstinence." —Laura, 27
6. "Try not to get hung up on vaginal sex being the only kind of sex. There areso many other options for those early weeks/months when your lady bits aren't feeling up to it. Blow jobs, hand jobs, toys ... get creative!" —Sara, 29
7. "Embrace quickies. Nothing wrong with quickies when you'd both rather be sleeping, and with a needy baby around, it's often all you have time for. That doesn't mean it still can't be fun!" —Jenna, 30
8. "Put it on your calendar. It might seem totally unromantic, but it really does help. I've realized that if I don't put sex on my calendar, we can go weeks before I even really realize it's been awhile. Also, you don't have to actually tell him it's on the calendar ... it's more for you so you can mentally prepare yourself. Sometimes the day will arrive on my calendar and I'm just not feeling it, so I just have to reschedule it for myself and he has no clue." —Kristin, 29
9. "Get creative with location. Our baby still sleeps in our room at almost a year and as adorable as he is, he's sort of a buzzkill when sexy time comes around. We've learned to switch things up by doing it wherever is most convenient. I'm pretty sure we've had sex in way more exciting places than we ever did before becoming parents: the laundry room, our parked car in the driveway (with the baby monitor nearby), the swivel chair in our office. Definitely keeps things interesting." —Shannon, 31
10. "It's really tempting to choose sleep over sex, because once you become a parent, 'tired' takes on a whole new meaning. But take one for the team and choose sex some of the time.Whenever I do this, I never regret it, and sometimes sex can be just as energizing as extra sleep." —Anna, 28
11. "Don't take yourself too seriously. You may need to be patient and fumble through it like the very first times, but in the end, it will be good! I say just do it (once you have proper birth control of course!)" —Sandy, 25
12. "Be patient. Sex doesn't always go back to normal right away for everyone. It was weird for me switching between the role of a mom and the role of a sexy wife, and I had a really hard time with it for a while. Eventually through trying new things and figuring out what didn't work, we got there." —Abby, 33
13. "Doing dishes and putting the baby to bed will become the best foreplay of your life. Nothing puts me in the mood quite like an empty sink and a little bit of alone time." —Erin, 32
14. "Send each other sexy text messages to get you in the mood early in the day.Chances are you'll be tired later on, but if the idea of sex has already been planted, it's probably more likely to actually happen." —Ashley, 26
15. "Lower the expectations and have lots of grace. Life has changed for everyone and you'll find your new normal with sex eventually." —Kelli, 31
16. "Get creative! Your bed is not the only place where a good time can go down.Co-sleepers have some of the most creative and spontaneous sex." —Autumn, 35
17. "Take it when you can get it. Finding the time or drive for sex can be a challenge, so when the stars align, just make it happen!" —Kelsey, 27
18. "Don't get frustrated if its not the same ... for a while! It took us a good six months to get back into the groove." —Sarah, 30
19. "Your first sex after baby will be awkward. You'll probably be leaking milk, praying your baby stays asleep, and wondering if your vagina feels huge (for the record, your partner will think it feels just fine). Eventually, things feel normal. Maybe even better. If not, seek a pelvic floor specialist with pride. You have to be spontaneous and inventive to work around schedules and co-sleeping. Embrace it. Find joy in the new normal, and be gentle with your own timeline." —Ravyn, 30
Source: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/2