A lot goes into great sex: Affection, attraction, anticipation, location, surprise, and much more. To spur your imagination, we spoke to s...
"Our coworkers could have caught us in the act."
This new guy and I had been casually flirting on the job for a couple of weeks. We worked at a photo studio that shot models and clothes and lifestyle products. One of my chores was to manage the product closet. One day I was inside cataloging when my crush came by to chat. We started joking around ... and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. The closet connected to a conference room, so I quickly shut the door. It wasn't too long before our clothes started hitting the floor. He'd just peeled off my panties when I heard voices. We froze. My boss had come into the conference room with some coworkers, apparently for a meeting. The guy stared at me. I stared back. Trapped! So why not? We picked up where we left off. The thrill was insane: a new guy, a crazy new experience, the risk of discovery. Even better was trying to be quiet. When I was about to climax, he gave me his shirt to bite down on. It smelled like his cologne, and my orgasm was seismic.
—ANGELA, 32
WHY IT WORKED
The fear of being caught sends a gusher of adrenaline and endorphins through your system, heightening the passion, says Jenn Gunsaullus, Ph.D., a sociologist and intimacy counselor in San Diego. But there's a subtler kick too: Fooling around in secret makes you both feel that you're sharing a special bond—and that connection can linger after the act.
The fear of being caught sends a gusher of adrenaline and endorphins through your system, heightening the passion, says Jenn Gunsaullus, Ph.D., a sociologist and intimacy counselor in San Diego. But there's a subtler kick too: Fooling around in secret makes you both feel that you're sharing a special bond—and that connection can linger after the act.
DO IT
Maybe humping in the break room isn't a career risk worth taking. So draw out the anticipation by limiting workplace escapades to kissing, touching, rubbing—everything but the big finale, Gunsaullus says. Stopping at PG-13 until later is the kind of slow-build foreplay that women love. The thrill of arousal in a public place will make the later release more intense.
Maybe humping in the break room isn't a career risk worth taking. So draw out the anticipation by limiting workplace escapades to kissing, touching, rubbing—everything but the big finale, Gunsaullus says. Stopping at PG-13 until later is the kind of slow-build foreplay that women love. The thrill of arousal in a public place will make the later release more intense.
*****
"For the first time, I knew exactly what he wanted."
A few months ago I was in bed with my husband when, in the middle of foreplay, he started making a bunch of requests. "Breathe into my ear," he said. "Now run your hand down my chest." Sure, we'd given each other pointers before, but we didn't really talk that much during sex. Now to hear my husband actually ask for something specific? That was new—and incredibly sexy. It gave everything he was doing to me a much greater sense of intention. When he asked for a certain kind of kiss or touch, everything felt more deliberate and meaningful. And as a result, the sex was better than ever. Talking our way through it made me feel as if we weren't just frolicking in our separate sexual worlds, but rather acting in concert to create a mutually pleasurable experience.
—STEPHANIE, 28
—STEPHANIE, 28
WHY IT WORKED
She craves your feedback in bed. It's partly because of evolution, says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a family and relationship therapist based in New York City. "Women require more communication in order to ensure they're in a safe relationship rather than a high-risk or dangerous one."
She craves your feedback in bed. It's partly because of evolution, says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a family and relationship therapist based in New York City. "Women require more communication in order to ensure they're in a safe relationship rather than a high-risk or dangerous one."
DO IT
Start with simple requests, like "Kiss me" or "Come closer," before directing her down below, says Men's Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. If she speaks up or guides you, go with it. That shows you care about her pleasure too.
Start with simple requests, like "Kiss me" or "Come closer," before directing her down below, says Men's Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. If she speaks up or guides you, go with it. That shows you care about her pleasure too.
*****
"I'd never tried a three-way, but I was open to the idea."
A friends-with-benefits guy I know asked me if I was open to a threesome with another woman. I was curious, so he arranged a dinner at his apartment. When the woman walked in, I was blown away: skintight sweater dress, tall boots, flowing curly hair. At that moment, I knew what it felt like to be a teenage boy. I just wanted her. I was nervous as we got into bed, but she'd clearly done this before. She asked, "Do you like to be licked or sucked?" Um, both? I started kissing my friend, and then she came over and kissed me. Meanwhile, my friend was touching my breasts. There were so many possibilities. It was such a turn-on to have sex with my friend while she watched, and then to have sex with her while he watched. This was sex amplified. Everything felt a hundred times more intense.
—JEMMA, 37
—JEMMA, 37
WHY IT WORKED
People who are open to trying new things in bed report the highest levels of sexual satisfaction, Herbenick says. And a willingness to negotiate risky boundaries can bring you closer together, Gunsaullus says.
People who are open to trying new things in bed report the highest levels of sexual satisfaction, Herbenick says. And a willingness to negotiate risky boundaries can bring you closer together, Gunsaullus says.
DO IT
Work out the details of a three-way ahead of time, Gunsaullus says. Discuss boundaries, and consider leaving close friends out of it; a 2012 Canadian study found that women experienced greater physical arousal at the idea of having sex with strangers than at the thought of having sex with friends.
Work out the details of a three-way ahead of time, Gunsaullus says. Discuss boundaries, and consider leaving close friends out of it; a 2012 Canadian study found that women experienced greater physical arousal at the idea of having sex with strangers than at the thought of having sex with friends.
Source: http://www.menshealth.com/
